


The Picture

by Chrisii



Category: One Piece
Genre: Burning Pants, Embarrassment, Humour, Oil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-11
Updated: 2015-01-11
Packaged: 2018-03-07 04:35:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3161429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chrisii/pseuds/Chrisii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ace gets oil in his pants. Ace catches on fire, so his pants burn away, a picture of the event finds itself on The Moby Dick. <br/>What will the crew do? What will Ace do? Random fanfic..</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Picture

**Author's Note:**

> This is my favourite funny fic I have written, so I hope you like it ;3

It was a normal day on the Moby Dick, at least as normal as it could be on the large ship with that many people on it. Ace alone wasn`t normal, which resulted in everything around him losing its normality, in some cases even his or hers sanity. They had been sailing for three weeks now, and everybody was desperate to get to land, including a not so secretive Ace. He whined and complained every chance he got about how he wanted to touch solid ground again, and it usually resulted in someone, mainly Marco, Vista, Jozu or other commanders to throw him in the sea, then order someone to go fish him out again. One time Ace had decided to complain to Izo, which wasn`t a good idea as the 16th Division commander had snatch the back of the Ace`s neck and slammed his head on the table, then held it in the tub full of water that was next to him. Ace had flailed for a while before going lax. Izo suspected that 2nd Division commander had passed out, but the second he let go of his neck Ace got up and ran out of Izo`s room, his face on fire to remove the numbing feeling of the water. The other crew members who heard the story had laughed at him, and teased him endlessly, resulting in either some burned clothes or an "I'm-going-to-kill-you" glare.

They didn't even dock before Ace jumped off the railing and started kissing the docks, earning weird glances from everybody that was working there at the time being. Needless to say, they were gone within seconds. Marco and Thatch faced palm. The newbie really had no sense of danger. Marco was feeling uneasy about the island, so after taking hold of Thatch`s forearm he jumped off the railing and together they followed the fire user through town, watching as he made a total fool of himself and gaped at everything that was on display. They were glad that Ace hadn`t seen them so that they wouldn`t be labelled as crazy and in need of a mental hospital as well. Thatch had been observing Marco and noticed the first mate looked worried and almost thoughtful as he followed the brunette along the many allies and roads that Ace was going through.

"You're worried about Ace?" he asked, snapping the phoenix out of his reverie.  
"What? No," Marco replied, scanning the area.  
"What`s wrong then?" Thatch asked.  
"It's quiet." The blond said.  
"So?"  
"Too quite. We`re pirates, it can't be this quiet. There is a Marine Base on this island," Marco explained slowly, before a solid object hitting another solid object was heard. They turned the ally into the road and were not surprised to see Ace get up from the rubble of rocks and send a stone glare at a group of marines.  
"What the hell? I was only eating a banana!!" Ace screamed.  
"You weren`t eating it! You were disturbing the civilians with your actions!" One of the marines said before unsheathing a sword.  
"There is no need for swords," Marco stepped in, lazily sitting on one of the larger pieces of the rocks.  
"It`s Marco The Phoenix! So that`s Fire-Fist Ace! And Thatch!" the marines yelled.  
"What? So Marco had to come for you to recognize me?" Ace said.  
"And I`m just Thatch?!" Thatch continued on as Marco sweat-dropped along with the marines.  
"Who Cares?! Attack!!" One of the marines yelled as they charged forward towards the three pirates.

They fought until about three quarters of the marines were either unconscious or too wounded too fight, and the remaining 15 had stopped to take a breath and stare at the three pirates, who were standing as if they had just taken a walk on the beach. One of the marines who were behind them suddenly got up and pistol whipped Thatch, sending the 4th Division Commander sprawling to the ground. Ace saw red at that and launched at the marine, who had a can of oil in his pocket, which spilled all over Ace`s pants, making the fire-user even more angrier.

"These were my favourite pants you ass-hole!!" he yelled.  
"Ace!! Don`t light on Fire!!!" Marco yelled but too late.  
"AGHHH!!!!! MY PANTS!!!!" yelled Ace as the pants caught on fire, burning to ashes because of the oil.  
"ACE! COVER!" Marco yelled as the flames went down to reveal a very naked Ace. His pants and underwear in ashes next to his feet.

The marines screamed and fled, but not before several pictures were taken by someone. Then none of the marines were left. Ace picked up a marine who was dead, took off his pants and wore them instead, looking so uncomfortable in them that Marco couldn`t help but chuckle. The phoenix threw their unconscious crew mate on his shoulders and the still conscious duo made it back to the ship, where they found the other commanders had soon to come back from shopping for supplies. They laid Thatch on the deck as a nurse tended to him and bandaged his head.

* * *

 

When Thatch came too again, they had set sail from the island, and were between sea and water again. He blurrily opened his eyes then promptly leaned over the railing and threw up before sitting down again.

"You okay?" Ace asked, handing him a glass of water.  
"Peachy," Thatch responded, drinking the water.  
"Nothing happened while you were unconscious don`t worry." Ace said.  
"If you're saying that something surely happened," Thatch said, his lips curling into a smirk.  
"Nothing happened!" Ace semi-yelled before stomping away.

Ace had somehow managed to swear Marco to secrecy and the Phoenix hadn't breathed a word, except to Oyaji as the old man had heard Ace threaten the phoenix not to say anything and as his duty as captain called, he had pressured them into telling him what Marco was supposed to be hiding. It was two days later when everybody found out the truth, and needless to say, Ace was beyond pissed. He was mopping the deck when a newspaper fell on top of his head, then fell open on the ground. A sudden wind gust behind him signalled the arrival of the First Division Commander, who took the newspaper from Ace's hands. After Marco flipped a few pages Ace was about to tell him off for staying in the place where he was supposed to be mopping but he stopped himself when Marco's face drained of all colour, then he promptly threw his head back and started laughing, his loud and booming laughter bringing the others to the deck as well. It was a rarity to see Marco laughing this much, and they liked it, but they wanted to see why he was laughing so hard in the first place. Thatch saw the newspaper that Marco was holding in his hand, high above his head so Ace couldn`t reach it. By now, both commanders face were beet red, Ace's with embarrassment  and Marco's with lack of oxygen because of laughing so hard.

When Thatch got hold of the newspaper and saw the picture printed on the middle pages he couldn't help it as well and started laughing, confusing the other commanders even more until Haruta took hold of the newspaper and everybody gathered around her to see it. Oyaji came moments later to see what was happening on deck as their laughs combined together caused a ruckus on the ship. Ace stomped off upon seeing their father, his shoulders ignited and his arms already smoking. When they got to a new island, Whitebeard found someone who made him a large copy of the photo and stuck it in the dining room. When Ace when to take something to drink and saw the pictures he caught on fire and went straight to Oyaji. After getting kicked out of the room he was currently leaning against the railing, several parts of his body on fire because of the anger. Thatch went to talk to him and the still angry Ace had turned and kicked him, with an ignited leg. Thatch`s foulard had caught on fire and the phoenix swept down at once, cutting the foulard off with one of his talons at the same time. Before landing he had caught the fire-user and threw him over the railings, then sent Haruta to get him up again. The swordsman soon came up again, a barely conscious Ace on his shoulders. Marco easily took Ace and carried him in a fireman's carry to their joined rooms, lay him on his bed and handcuffed him with a pair of sea-stone cuffs he kept just in case Ace felt like murdering every crew-member when he was pissed beyond control.

Ace had woken up at about 9 at night, feeling disorientated and very confused as to where he was. Marco had practically fed him that night to avoid actually un-cuffing him. Ace had sulked for the half an hour it took to finish the bowl, then promptly fell asleep, his head falling back on the pillow. A shrill scream at 6 am had the commanders all running to the kitchen, Marco arriving a bit late as he had to un-cuff Ace first. Thatch was sitting on the table, white as sheet as Max (a cook that was introduced in my other fan-fic, Random Meetings) coaxed him into drinking some water.

"Thatch what happened?" Marco asked, laying a hand on his brother`s shoulder.  
"Waking up to see a nude Ace, not a good idea." Thatch muttered, his brown eyes locking with Marco`s blue ones.  
"Seriously? You woke everybody up, because the picture gave you a fright?" Vista asked.  
"It didn`t give me a fright. It SCARRED  my mind and soul. And I almost pissed myself" Thatch muttered, draining the last of the water as some colour returned to his face.

Meanwhile Ace had stayed quiet, then a chuckle echoed, which soon turned into full on laughter as the fire user collapsed on the floor laughing his guts out. The other commanders stared surprised at the commander they last seen was pissed off because of the picture, now laughing because Thatch got scared because of the same picture.

The picture had Ace gaping down at some ashes by his feet, while he stood in his birthday suit in front of marines, a bored-looking Marco and an unconscious Thatch thrown over the phoenix`s shoulder. Soon, everything turned to ash as that very night, they lit a bonfire and did a party for no reason at all.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it, and again, I don't own One Piece, Oda does.  
> All I own is Max.


End file.
